Surface Dwelling

Surface Dwelling

I feel like so many of us are surface dwellers, and by that, I mean that we never really participate in our lives or the lives of those around us…we just toddle along, doing the exact same thing day after day. We have friends and loved ones but we don’t really go deep in our conversations. We listen but only for what we need to know…

As I age, I find myself craving more – I see other people having much deeper conversations, memories and experiences and I want what they have.

For those of you who like me have just gotten by with casual acquaintances, where do we start?

Let’s start by embarking on a 30-day challenge to try something called active listening.

According to Harvard Business “Active listening is when you not only hear what someone is saying, but also attune to their thoughts and feelings. It turns a conversation into an active, non-competitive, two-way interaction.”

A lot of times, when we are having conversations, we aren’t truly listening to the other person. Instead, we are mentally plotting what our next point will be and waiting to jump in. Confession time, I do this a lot with my kids, spouse and sometimes my co-workers.

If like me, you have been “not listening” for most of your adult life, then this may be quite a challenge…but I think it will be worth it.

So, the next time you are having a conversation, listen to what they say and then use the phrase “what I am hearing you say is x, y or z…did I get that right?”. Follow this up with a question about x, y and z and hopefully you will be well on the way to digging deep in your relationships.

Dive in, dig deep and let me know how it goes!